This year has begun quite differently to years past.
I was ill to begin with (a cough and cold) an infrequent event for me, and it took me a while to recover. As soon as I was well enough to return and turn my attention to the plans of January, I found myself called upon to take the funerals of a number of people across the Isle of Axholme, in part due to the vacancy within the Epworth Benefice.
It is always a privilege to be alongside families at such a difficult time. Nothing in life prepares us for loss and whilst a sure faith in the promise of salvation through Jesus gives hope, grief spares no one its pain.
However being available and able to be contacted by families has been a problem during this past month. I am trying to transfer the phone account into my name; until now it’s been in the name of the previous church treasurer. It’s proved to be an immense task, as BT’s service model does not lend itself to a satisfactory customer experience in instances of serious faults because basically, ring them and you will end up speaking to anybody anywhere in the country. Over the past three weeks I spoke to no fewer than 10 different call centres in various parts of the British Isles. You have no idea who will answer your call. To cut along story short (a very frustrating and a very long story), they (Swansea) made the mistake of telling me they could transfer my details to the existing account and set that action in motion. It has resulted in a catalogue of errors and confusion on their part. Our phone line has been dead since the 5thof February.
Whilst it has been frustrating on so many levels, the biggest frustration has to have been having to reiterate the history of the problem every time I rang up. They simply didn’t know what I wanted and Invariably ended having to recap what had happened. Were they not listening? The problem will hopefully soon be resolved and next month I may have long forgotten the experience. Maybe!
The thing is, in life we can we often find ourselves repeating things we have previously said. You might have to repeat yourself for any number of reasons.
The circumstances and cause of having to repeat ourselves can be numerous. However repetition, once we are conscious of it, can reveal an as yet unforeseen problem. We don’t seem to be listening, responding, acting and making decisions that demonstrate we have engaged with what we are being told. In a way the whole story of the bible, from its beginning to end, deals with God continually repeating himself to humanity, until he acts directly in Jesus. Humanity demonstrates an inability to act on what God has revealed.
However, as the month comes to a close, I find myself repeating myself in a set of altogether different circumstances.
Like many families, my family are beginning to live with someone who has dementia. My Mum. Along with many others, we reach a point in life and are faced with something we feel utterly ill-prepared for. Whilst I am reading up about dementia, this is one issue that will require more self application, learning, observation and adjustment than any book has the capacity or experience to provide.
We are of course, not alone in this. The scale and impact of dementia has only just begun to unfold and will present significant challenges to us all as families and communities over the coming years.
I took a road trip with Mum recently to visit the places we lived in Bradford from 1963-1966 and 1969-1970 in Woodside. Just the two of us. I retraced our history in order to begin to learn how conversations will need to be structured in the future. I noticed I was repeating myself at times. This time it was something I was happy to do so.
Repeating oneself and listening have a totally different perspective at the end of the month.
Yours in Christian love
Cliff
(The phone problem is on-going so we are transferring to another provider; whether they’ll be any better remains to be seen!)
St Hilda's Church, Halifax 